Does Anybody Else Look Like Me? By Donna Jackson Nakazawa

(meeting brother for the 1st time)

I have read this years ago, and flipping through it found some highlighted areas that I wish to share. I really did not read this until after our 1st child came home from China, I was so oblivious, looking back I wish I was a little more "in tune" and prepared. Well here it goes,,,if you like buy a copy,you will not regret it.

Book Quote:

"Why do people so often make comments about multiracial children? Of course they are beautiful-we as their parents know that. But why is it that our children garner so much extra attention from strangers when other,clearly adorable kids don't garner as much?" End Quote

This entire scene use to play out every time we left the house to run errands. I use to avoid eye contact with people just to avoid a conservation regarding adoption in front of my child. When I did have a conservation I was very brief but polite. For truly interested people I even went as far as giving them my phone number. Please remember protect your child at all costs. If they are made to feel like an item,(like a puppy) or draw attention of how beautiful they are by strangers it will make them draw into a shell or not have solid self esteem.

OK this second quote was a perfect argument to my husband on why we should adopt again. He did not need much convincing as his heart was all for a second adoption even before the plane left China with our daughter. Anyway this helped move it along a little more faster.

Quote:"The benefits of having Siblings"

"For children who are biracial, the presence of siblings may have a remarkable positive effect on each child's self-esteem, giving each child a concrete sense that there are others like them, not only in their own home but within the greater world. Psychologist Beverly Daniel Tatum points out that "when a sibling comes along, the first child often has a great sense of relief in seeing someone like them in their family. It gives them a much bigger sense of seeing themselves reflected in the world around them." End Quote

Yes this was very true in our case, even today our daughter takes great pride pointing out to her brother that she was born first in China and that we had to go get him. Even today she said no matter how many birthdays he has, he will never be the same age as her! Always thinking that one! They have a beautiful bond that I enjoy watching grow everyday. In most cases she is his "little mommy".

Paperwork Cake Walk

I feel we moved up on the list some today, I have to wait for word from my adoption consultant. Anyway because we updated our fingerprints and have a new approval document from USCIS. We need to get it Notarized, Certified and Authenticated. We had to update 3 documents, Express mailing $109 (4 envelopes) $150 Vietnam Embassy (3 documents @$50) Sec of State $30 (3 documents at $10) County Clerk $9 (3documents at $3) grand total $297 , I could of saved about $50 if I had the SOS send my docs onto the Embassy, but at the time this seemed the less confusing,they will come back to us, then I must send on to Embassy. My son and husband were with me, need I say more? This small paperwork task did seem easy. In fact I learned a neat time saving short cut, being this is our 3rd adoption I should of seen the big picture sooner. Oh Well, here it goes....instead of running all over trying to get a bank notary, town office notary, ect. Just use the Notary at the County Clerks office and the same day get the clerk to authentic each document. This saves time, saves using more than one Notary, limits that you may use notaries from different counties causing more running around and last but not least reduces the ERRORS that many notaries make causing you precious time and money.*ps might be a challenge with the doctor note and employment letter but for the rest...easy breezy.

Mom the Hero!

We had about a 3hr window of special time today. I was busy working on drywall & cleaning, son watching the morning reading show. Then it dawned on me, "lets get the heck outa here". So with 3hrs before the school bus, we took off for the Zoo! The weather was so nice, you could feel spring in the air. He got ready super fast for the car. I want him to grow up remembering special times with just mom, or times when he is totally the center of attention. Believe me his days are numbered, when sharing me will not be easy. But anyway, I have a friend with 3 kids, and they make a point of each week to have a "date" or alone time with each child separately. I think that's cool! Ok I got off track of why I am a hero....Well, thinking of how he will have wonderful memories of seeing the animals, playground etc.. The only thing that impressed him was "skittles" were in the vending machine. Guess what? Only one package left. I had a one dollar coin and the machine accepted it, only to partially uncoil 89% of the package, leaving that poor package hanging for dear life. Ok tap the machine lightly, nothing, no one looking, give it a nice BANG...nothing no movement. no one looking still "lets rock it and let it BANG down! " Yes.. success we have skittles! My son was so proud, only for me to hear another parent that was watching. "boy you have a nice technique". I was a little embarrassed, maybe others would of just put in more money, but what the heck money is money right? (or I am just cheap) It really made me happy that my son enjoyed his Skittles, they were all his, and he did not have to share.

Vocabluary Time Kids...Yes new USCIS process

According to USCIS the word ABANDONMENT means: A child is left by the parents and the authorities know who the parents are. For that child to be adopted the biological parents needs to have a DNA test to prove they are the parents, and sign a document that they are truly abandoning the child. The adoptive parents will pay for the testing of baby, and both parents. If needed the test maybe performed twice.(normally a month to process)

OK now..The word DESERT means: The child is left with no family or connections. An investigation will be ordered and if biological family is located, then see above.

So going forward, this will be the new step right after referral. I have seen that about 80% of children are deserted. I am sure once all the process is ironed out things will be OK. No one is very good with change, specially when a new one is issued it seems every week now. Well tomorrow is Thursday do I dare think our agency may get some referrals?? until then Peace!

Dedication....

This current song is dedicated to my blooger buddy (you know who) Yes finally getting her fingerprint appointment tomorrow. Lets hope she does not soak in the bath too long tonight and make those prints all water logged!

Peas & Carrots, Carrtos & Peas!

My feeling with the Vietnam adoptions are still medium, I guess it depends what Yahoo groups that you read, still tons of conflicting information. The MOU will not be resigned, however Vietnam still wants to work with non-Hague agency's, against what the US is pushing for. Since our agency is non-Hague I keep hoping that Vietnam will keep with their plan to continue working with non-Hague agency's and still process applications that have been in Vietnam for months. The current agreement expires this Sept. so no official announcements yet.. Our agency hopes to be accredited by then. Still its nerve racking. No one ever said this was easy. I wonder if it was easy for Brad & Angelia, did they read and cling to every chat room?

We did have a nice burst of warm air today, almost spring like. We tried to fly a kite, but most of the time was "stop stepping on the line" "get it out of the trees" "watch out the string will cut your hand" At one point it reached the top of our home, only to crash to the ground.

Our neighbor has a huge garden area, they shared it with us last summer, we managed it, watered, weeded ect. Her husband died late fall, the garden was still not fully harvested, so I wondered all winter if we would have the joy of a garden again this summer. Then she came over today, (see nice weather brings out people!) YES! She started telling the list of things to do before planting, we started today pulling out 20 rows of dead corn stocks and various plants. The ground was nice n soft so pulling them out was great. Last summer, we ate vegetables all summer and fall, even pulled leftover carrots in the winter thaw. It will be so nice to have that again this year. Even the daily fight with the local deer, its worth it! On a side note, this garden is like medicine to me, it helps to endure the waiting, keeping the mind and body busy. Going to bed nice and tired with no time to ponder.

Easter Morning

We had a great Easter, it was extra fun seeing the happiness in our childs eyes and the wonder of the Easter Bunny. We attended mass on Easter Eve, arrived about 7pm for a 7:30 start, they really were well behaved considering that we left after 2hrs and 40 min into it, at that point communion was not even started. I do feel gulity...but we were pushing out luck staying any longer. We left right after the 4th baptism. I think we are forgiven.