Not keeping it together

I am trying very hard to keep busy and active with the kids. The Internet chat rooms were stressing me out, I am no longer following LVC, still going through some withdrawals or anxiety of what information I may be missing. A good friend said, the chat rooms are just like the soap's you can take a break from them, go back and still not miss a thing. I panic and want to call my CHI rep, but I just spoke with her last Friday, I should not be a pest, they are extremely busy doing important work. I wrote a letter full of Vietnam Adoption info to my Senator, then chickened out after reading my ranting letter comming off as a crazy person and did not mail it. Still it felt a little better just getting it all out on paper. I will save that type of letter if I have serious issues with any "pre-travel" adoption issues. I did send two pre-made letters from the Ethica site, it still seems like they were sent into a black whole somewhere. I am trying hard to "suck it up" what will be will be, out of our control. I still hate this very much. It would be great to get a good nights sleep, stop the mind from racing of all the questions with no answers. I laid awake for 3 hours waiitng to sleep, I was so tired. We have to have a good summer, this can not rule what should be happy family times, so I will try harder.