Yes, that is exactly how this feels. This is a feeling well known to us, "your pregnant, but we are sorry to say you will not keep the baby." Will we have to wait until 9/1? Will our agency give us any hopeful news? If we do get a referral, will the US make such a large case and force a NOID? I know that the only good getting a child at the end of this mess, would be truly knowing as best as possible that the child did qualify as an orphan. I mean come on, the line is drawn in the sand, I do not think the US will make these last 4 months a pleasant process. This is a 3rd world country, birth certificates, personal documents are not centralized like in the US, for that fact some people don't even have birth certificates. So how the heck will they be authenticated? Vietnam creates what it needed to make the adoption happen. If a DNA is ordered, the officials have been quoted as "adoption is a personal matter we will not let our citizens be tested." Where do you go from there?
Not many knew that we were adopting, frankly I told everyone about our other adoptions, however I remember the draining questions, in the grocery, at work, at church, well meaning people but still draining. That's why we kept this a little more low key. With the latest news, there has been fewer people to explain our situation to. Also answering questions about a 9 page government report where Anonymous Vietnam employees discussed Vietnam Orphanage business with US officials. RIGHT! (We will save that topic for another Ranting post) I also have been holding my tongue to several people who's response has been "you should just be happy with what you have", "You should be lucky with your current kids, you really lucked out", "well that's good, you don't want a stolen baby...do you?" I guess if I was stronger, my replies would be more thought out than just a statement of agreement. Remember what I now say....some people do take pleasure in others bad fortune.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
The Pending Miscarraige
Posted by Ann at 4:51 PM
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3 comments:
You probably don't need me to tell you this, but you are doing a wonderful thing! I admire you for having the strength and determination to make it through a process that's obviously extremely difficult.
Although I've never had a miscarriage, this just the the equivalent. We are still #88 or so on the eaiting list; I just can't imagine how much worse it is for someone so close, but yet so far. I'm hoping you will get your referral in before the July 1st or is it September 1st cut off. We are still trying to decide what to do; it's almost certain we will withdraw from Vietnam, but where will go is not clear yet and until it is, we will stay right where we are.
I was feeling the same way the other day. It is SO reminiscent of trying to get pg, and then having each successful pg (3 for me) end in miscarriage. Cautiously pessimistic, we are. Here's to not giving up hope entirely, eh?
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